COUPLES THERAPY IN SHOREVIEW, MINNESOTA
Couples therapy that changes the pattern, not just the conversation.
For couples stuck in the same fight, living like roommates, or brewing in quiet resentment.
IN PERSON THERAPY
Shoreview, Minnesota
4570 Churchill St, Suite 220
For clients located in Minnesota
You need to be physically in Minnesota during the session.
OTHER STATES
Currently I can only see client who are physically in Minnesota. Florida telehealth registration and Wisconsin licensure are in progress.
COUPLES THERAPY MAY BE A FIT IF:
You keep having the same argument.
One of you pushes for connection while the other pulls away.
You've started to feel like roommates.
Resentment has replaced warmth.
Both of you are willing to look at your own part.
Relationship issues are common.
When two people come together and combine their lives, relationship issues are bound to surface.
From “you didn’t take out the garbage” to “kids missed their practice because you were late” to everything in between.
Disagreements, not seeing that two things can be true at the same time, unfair or unspoken expectations, and assumptions - all lead to stress and disconnection even in the most loving relationship.
As unaddressed issues pile up so do resentments, dissatisfaction, and hurt feelings.
Without resolution, a pattern of relating gets established over time in the relationship that no one really wants.
The laughter, the teamwork, partnership? Feeling supported, heard, understood? That’s still possible.
Couples therapy is for you, if…
You keep having the same fight, different day
The argument changes. The feelings don’t. You’re stuck in a loop neither of you knows how to break. And it’s exhausting for both of you.
Life transitions are exposing fault lines
Stress has a way of surfacing what was always quietly there. All of a sudden you’re navigating your relationship and unresolved issues that have been simmering for years.
You no longer feel close
You’re functioning together - co-parenting, co-existing, co-managing life. But the intimacy, the sense of being known, has faded into the background.
One of you has shut down emotionally
Withdrawal, stonewalling, emotional numbness. One of you started to build walls because it hurt too much to stay open. For some people this is a long-standing pattern, not a reaction to this relationship. It’s called avoidant attachment, and it can change.
You’re recovering from a rupture
Something happened - a betrayal, a disclosure, a moment (or many) in time that broke trust. You’re not sure whether to stay or go, but you want supportive space to figure it out.
You’re wondering if the relationship is repairable
You need a supportive space to figure out whether the relationship can survive whatever it is life threw your way.
MY APPROACH
Three frameworks used as one system.
Gottman shows what's happening. Relational Life Therapy changes who's driving it. The Developmental Model explains where you are and what comes next. I'm trained in all three.
Mapping the pattern
The Gottman Method
Built on decades of relationship research. We identify your communication loops and the habits that make it worse: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Best for: repeated, escalating arguments and long silences.
Focus: lowering the heat and rebuilding emotional safety.
Shifting the standoff
Relational Life Therapy
Fast-paced and direct. I step in as an active coach, name blind spots as they happen, and help each of you move from reactive habits to your steadier wise adult self.
Best for: chronic resentment, withdrawal, and power struggles.
Focus: honest accountability and closeness you can feel.
Growing together
The Developmental Model
Relationships move through stages. Distress often shows up when one of you is ready to grow and the other holds on to an older way of relating.
Best for: roommate dynamics, life transitions, and codependent patterns.
Focus: two strong individuals who make a better partnership.
Is this the right starting point for us?
Couples therapy works best when both of you are willing to look at your own part. You don't have to agree on what's wrong. You do have to be willing to show up.
I also ask couples to be open about any current affair so the work can be honest.
If one of you is ambivalent about staying, that's something we can work with, as long as you're both honest about it.
QUESTIONS
What couples ask before booking.
Do you offer a free consultation call?
No. The 90-minute Foundations Session is how we find out together whether this is a good fit.
Why 90 minutes?
Many couples find 50 minutes frustrating. By the time you've settled in, the hour is ending. Ninety minutes allows us to go much deeper.
Do you take insurance?
No. I'm private pay, so nothing about your care is submitted to an insurer. Most insurers don't cover couples counseling anyway, and I can provide a superbill if you'd like to try for reimbursement.
Can we meet online?
Yes, as long as you're both physically in Minnesota during the session. I confirm your location at the start of each online session.
What do we need to do before the first session?
Each of you completes intake forms privately in the client portal. That lets you each be candid before we meet.
Do we really need couples therapy?
Have you tried fixing and patching things up yourself, and it didn’t work? Choosing to go to therapy is a big decision. It is perfectly fine to feel unsure or nervous about couples therapy. Many couples go to therapy when issues are already at the boiling point, one partner is ready to leave, or the problems have multiplied - and therapy is the last resort to try to patch things up. That’s fine. I love working with high conflict or disconnected couples. And, if you’re not at this point yet, it’s a great time to go to therapy.
Are we going to talk about emotions?
Emotions are part of the human experience. Recognizing and naming them helps in not letting them take over. When you start noticing what you do when you feel a specific emotion, you can change it. Which in turn provides a different (better) result. So, I’ll ask to feel your emotions.
Are you going to take sides?
My role is an active facilitator. I may take sides. Relationships are not simply 50/50, and being a neutral therapist doesn’t help your relationship. In developmental model of couples therapy, the therapist is an active guide, confronting negative, dysfunctional patterns, and intervening to help you both move toward healthier relationship.
Ready to stop having the same fight?
I don't offer phone consultations. Your first 90-minute session is where we find out, together, whether this is a good fit.
