Couples Therapy
Heal your relationship and write a new story.
In-person in Shoreview, and virtually across Minnesota
Could couples therapy help us?
Is your relationship not what it used to be?
The romance. Love. Date nights. Picnics by the lake. Those were the days.
That was years ago. You don’t even remember the last time you had a date night. Work, house, kids, pets, more. Repeat. Whispering sweet nothings? Not even on the radar.
You love each other, but things are just not going well lately. Minor misunderstandings evolve into big arguments or days of silence. Talking about difficult things? Who’d do that? Just to start another argument? No, thank you.
But a part of you is ready and willing to (re)connect.
Queue the doubts.
Is (re)connecting even possible? So many resentments piled up over the years. Unmet expectations. Half truths. White lies. Maybe a betrayal or two. Do I even want to put in the work? You quietly ask yourself.
Relationship issues are common.
When two people come together and combine their lives, relationship issues are bound to surface. From “you didn’t take out the garbage” to “kids missed their practice because you were late” to everything in between and beyond.
Disagreements, not seeing that two things can be right at the same time, unfair or unspoken expectations, and assuming - can all lead to stress in any relationship.
What used to be endearing now sets you off.
As unaddressed issues pile up, so do resentments, dissatisfaction, and hurt feelings.
This is when disconnection enters, and without resolution, it intensifies. Until one person calls it (either quits or insist on couples therapy).
Couples therapy can help you heal and (re)connect.
Remember the good times? The laughter, the teamwork, partnership. Feeling supported, heard, understood. That’s still possible.
With the help of a couples therapist, finding common ground and getting to know each other again is within reach.
The issues you bring to therapy? All can be addressed and the relationship healed.
What will it take? Both of you willing and doing the work.
The focus of couples therapy is on the relational empowerment, with emphasis on mutual empowerment, not individual control (often over the other). By embracing being relational, couples move beyond reactive behaviors, and are able to connect on a much deeper, emotional level.
You may be feeling stuck in your relationship at this time, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. Even profound disconnection doesn’t signal the end of the relationship. Often, coming to the brink allows both partners to decide how to move forward, and both are willing to do the work. It’s a much needed jolt to the relationship status quo.
And no, you don’t need to be at the brink to benefit from couples therapy.
Empowerment in Couples Therapy
Answers about marriage and couple therapy in Minnesota.
Have you tried fixing and patching things up yourself, and it didn’t work? Then yes, you may need couples therapy to move things past the stuck points and improve your relationship.
Do we really need couples therapy?
How long are couple’s sessions and how long will we be in therapy?
I generally see couples for 90-minute sessions every other week. As long as both you and your partner are committed to doing the work of healing your relationship, couples therapy doesn’t have to be long-term.
Isn’t couples therapy for couples on the brink of divorce or break up?
Being on the brink of divorce is not a requirement for therapy. Couples therapy gives you and your partner the space to have conversations you likely rarely (or never) have, work through resentments, and build a better relationship.
Are we going to talk about emotions?
Emotions are a part of being human. Recognizing and naming them is necessary for not letting them take over. This gives you space to start noticing what you do when you feel a specific emotion. Which in turn gives you space to do things differently, with a different (better) result.
Are you going to take sides?
Yes, I will take sides and when needed, I’ll also interrupt. Relationships are not simply 50/50, and being a neutral therapist doesn’t help your relationship. In development model of couples therapy, the therapist is an active guide, confronting negative, dysfunctional patterns, and intervening to help partners move toward healthier relational functioning. If you want to improve your relationship, and do the required emotional work, then we're on the same team.
Let’s Work Together
Take the first step - schedule a
15-minute consultation or a full initial therapy session below.
